Marriage of the Virgin, Pietro Perugino, 1502
WHAT ABOUT MARY'S MARRIAGE TO JOSEPH?
Clearly, in light of her call to be the Mother of the Redeemer, Mary's marriage to Joseph would be far from ordinary. First and foremost, it was designed by God for the care and protection of the Blessed Virgin and Her Son — to keep the Incarnation hidden from the world for a time. Hence, as Saint Ignatius of Antioch, writing in about 107 A.D., would observe: "The virginity of Mary, her giving birth, and also the death of the Lord, were hidden from the prince of this world: — three mysteries loudly proclaimed, but wrought in the silence of God" (Letter to the Ephesians 19:1). Having learned that Mary conceived a child by another, Joseph resolved to put her away quietly to save her from probable execution under the Mosaic Law (cf. Matt. 1:19; Deut. 22:23-24). The Lord intervened, however, telling him through an angel in a dream, "Do not fear to take Mary your wife, for that which is conceived in her is of the Holy Spirit; she will bear a son, and you shall call his name Jesus, for he will save his people from their sins" (Matt. 1:20). Joseph, though, would not have taken these words to mean Mary was to be his wife in the normal sense of the word. That she bore the Son of God made her truly the Spouse of the Holy Spirit (cf. Luke 1:35); and Joseph would have understood that marital relations with the spouse of another was forbidden under the Law.
Saint Ambrose of Milan wrote, "Neither does it make any difference that the Scripture says: 'Joseph took his wife and went into Egypt' (Matt. 1:24; 2:14); for any woman espoused to a man is given the name of wife. It is from the time that a marriage begins that the marital terminology is employed. It is not the deflowering of virginity that makes a marriage, but the marital contract. It is when the girl accepts the yoke that the marriage begins, not when she comes to know her husband physically" (The Consecration of a Virgin and the Perpetual Virginity of Mary 6:41).